RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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