hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
