My liver just broke up with me...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize
