I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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