you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
