nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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