im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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