Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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