I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
nutella sex= disaster
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize