No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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