so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
