he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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