We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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