I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
