So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
