Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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