soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
