Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
