What a fucking waste of an outfit
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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