The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dignity is for republicans.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
