Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
