you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
