so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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