So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
