I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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