After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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