i love accidental penises.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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