well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
