I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
now i know why i became what i already was.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I understand Curling. That high.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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