No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
