Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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