I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
