kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My penis needs a shock collar
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
