When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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