i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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