i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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