is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
