She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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