I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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