It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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