you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
