Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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