just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
