'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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