he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
