I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
