Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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