Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
