OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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