So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
