Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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