oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
