we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
