Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I party with great urgency now.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
