I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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