Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
