I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
