Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
