I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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