If i come over, it means nothing
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize