i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
someone owes me an orgasm
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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