i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
