You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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