my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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