Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
